The sun is shining, the weather is warm, the kids are out of school… why not plan a fun day with your family? Summer is a great time to explore Saint Paul and the Minnesota Children’s Museum! The city offers the perfect start to your weekend, so put on your walking shoes.

1. First stop by The Saint Paul Farmers Market located conveniently in downtown Saint Paul. It’s a great place to take in the local flavors with their selection of 100% locally grown produce, flowers and freshly made foods that will be sure you excite your morning taste buds. Make sure you get there in the morning because it’s only open Sat. and Sun. 6am-1pm.
290 5th St. East Saint Paul, MN 55101

Summer Hours: Sat-Thurs 9am-5pm, Fri 9am-8pm
10 7th St. West Saint. Paul, MN 55012

Children can- and do- thrive under many different styles of parenting.  The choice of an effective style is not a matter of "either-or," but of finding a comfortable balance.

On the one hand...
Children need FREEDOM. They need to be permitted to:

• Explore the world
• Use their senses
• Move about freely
• Make mistakes

In other words, children need room to grow and develop.

On the other hand...
Children need LIMITS.  They want:

• Guidance
• Advice
• Responsibility
• Routine

By offering protection, you can help your children feel secure.

Still too much of even a good thing can be harmful

On the one hand...
Too much FREEDOM may overwhelm a child.  Indulged children may become self-centered and demanding, and have trouble getting along with others.

On the other hand...
Too many LIMITS may smother a child.  Over protected children may become passive and dependant- possibly resentful and hostile.

How you raise your children will depend on many factors- you, your children, the situation.  Some parents feel comfortable withe parenting styles that the other parents might find too tight or loose in fit.  Some children can handle more freedom and responsibility than others.  And some situations call for more control than others.

You'll want to stay away from the extremes of over-permissiveness or over protection.  Between the extremes are many approaches that make room both for your sanity and your child's growth.  What is important is that your style of parenting be reasonable and motivated by love and respect for your child.

Esther Schak
Parenting Educator, Saint Paul ECFE

When asked about their discipline methods, many parents will mention that they use consequences when their children misbehave. But discipline is so much more. The root meaning of discipline is “to teach.” To discipline – or to teach – effectively, parents need many, many tools, not just one (consequences). Here are some tools to put in your discipline toolkit. You may be surprised at some of the ideas listed; some may not seem much like discipline to you. But once parents begin to use a broad range of “tools,” they usually find that their efforts to teach their children to behave become more effective.

I’ll start with prevention tools. Preventing misbehavior before it happens is more effective (and less stressful) than anything else. Here are strategies parents can use when children are not misbehaving that will help keep problems from occurring.

Teach values and behavior:

• Demonstrate the desirable behavior yourself
• Tell stories to make a point
• Make your expectation clear before an event or activity
• Give specific (and brief!) instructions
• Prepare your child for something that might be difficult for him
• Catch your child being good!

Change the situation:

• Change the surroundings
• Change the activity
• Physically redirect the child

Increase your child’s feelings of security:

• Move physically closer to your child
• Provide reassuring routines
• Provide ways to ease transitions

Strengthen your child’s self-esteem:

• Show interest in what our child does
• Provide real affection
• Enjoy each other’s company

Try some of these prevention tools this week and see if they improve your relationship with your child. Next week, I’ll go over some more tools to help you manage conflict and teach your children responsibility.

Esther Schak
Parent Educator, Saint Paul ECFE

Springtime -- when the world wakes up from her winter slumber and becomes fresh and new again!  Spring is also a great time to set new family goals.  You might want to focus on:

Healthy Food

• Eat your homegrown veggies this summer!  Now's the time to plant vegetables -- depending on the weather, either seeds in small containers in the house, or small plants outside in containers or in the yard.  It's a fun learning adventure to nurture seeds and watch them grow! 
• Cook up a storm!  Plan the menu, shop for the ingredients (or pick them from your garden), cook the meal and eat together as a family.  Children often eat better when they help create the meal and then share it with their family. 

Outdoor Exercise

• Go for frequent family walks.  Count the number of flowers poking their heads out of the dirt.  How many different colors do you see? 
• Turn off the TV, go outside, and kick around a soccer ball.  Studies show that obesity in children increases the more hours they watch TV (Crespo, 2001). 
• Spring winds help warm the Earth and make great kite-flying adventures.  Pack a picnic lunch, grab your kite and head to the park for an afternoon of family fun!

• The best way to wind down after a fun day (or even a not-so-fun day) is to climb into bed and read books before falling asleep.  This routine calms everyone down and creates a positive, loving way to end each day.

• Recommended Books
• Spring Has Sprung -- Bear in the Big Blue House by Kiki Thorpe
• Henry and Mudge in Puddle Trouble by Cynthia Rylant
• The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett

What kinds of things are you working on in your family this spring? Do you have more great spring reads to suggest?

Judy Schumacher
Director of Education, Minnesota Children's Museum

More and more research shows that family meals have numerous benefits. According to the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University, children and teens whose families have frequent family dinners are:

• At lower risk for substance abuse
• Less likely to try cigarettes
• Less likely to try marijuana
• Less likely to try alcohol or get drunk monthly
• Likely to get better grades in school

Project EAT (Eating Among Teens) at the University of Minnesota found that family meals were associated with better intakes of fruits, vegetables, grains, calcium-rich foods and many other nutrients. They found that family meals were also associated with a lower intake of soft drinks and snack foods, and that girls who ate more frequent family meals exhibited less disordered eating such as extreme dieting behaviors and binge eating.

Start your family tradition of eating together when your children are young. Most families come together over a meal at dinnertime, but some find that breakfast works better for them. Turn off the television and other distractions (no cell phone conversations!) and focus on talking with each other. Children will learn a larger vocabulary, learn how to take turns, and hone other social skills. They will also learn about how the world works and how their parents feel about various issues.

You'll want to serve a variety of good foods, but there's no need to make the meal too elaborate. Involve your children in the meal preparation -- they may be more willing to eat something new when they help. Develop your own rituals and routines -- maybe pizza every Sunday evening, or a "breakfast" menu (such as pancakes fruit and sausage) served as dinner once a month. Kids will look forward to these special events (and remind you if you forget!).

Esther Schak,
Parent Educator, Saint Paul ECFE

So many of our most cherished memories involve grandparents or other relatives. Bring generations together in your family with some of these ideas.

1. Plan a family celebration that brings everyone into the family picture.

• When there's a religious life-cycle event (such as a baptism or Bar Mitzvah), add to the service by addressing the child's grandparents with words like these: "We recognize that you will always be an important part of this child's life..."
• At a milestone birthday or anniversary, ask members of each generation to make a contribution. For instance, if it's a 13th birthday, ask grandparents to describe their 13th birthday or their teen years.
• When a child enters school, ask grandparents to reminisce about their school days -- particular teachers they remember, exciting or embarrassing experiences, etc. 

2. Collect memories.

• Set aside New Year's Day as "create a scrapbook day." Bring out a year's worth of mementos -- programs, school papers, balloons, photos, clippings, etc. Assemble a scrapbook depicting your year.
• As part of a family gathering, ask each family member to bring something from a day he/she will long remember and talk about the object -- maybe a lock of hair, a newspaper clipping, a phone message, etc.
• Involve children in a project to interview and record the life stories of the older generation -- much like the ongoing StoryCorps project.

3. Divide your extended family into groups along new lines. For example: by seasons in which birthdays occur, by favorite color, by favorite season. These groups might: 

• Exchange gifts among one another by drawing each others' names.
• Create a banner or poster for a family celebration.
• Plan an outing together -- a football game, a play, a school band concert.

These are some ideas to help get the ball rolling. What are some of the ways your family interacts across generations? Share an extended family photo from your most recent (or not-so-recent) get-together!

Esther Schak,
Parent Educator, Saint Paul ECFE

With the weather improving, you might be thinking about a road trip with your family. Here are some great ideas from ECFE parents that will help smooth the way.

Traveling with children probably means that you'll need to take a lot of things that you wouldn't need if you were traveling alone. Your list might include:

• Snacks and drinks -- choose items that take a LONG time to eat!
• Wet wipes
• Garbage bags
• A clipboard for coloring or other art activities
• A pan with a sliding top to use as a lap desk (with built-in storage!)
• Pillows and blankets
• Extra clothes
• A night light
• Special blankets, stuffed animals, pillows or pacifiers that your child WON'T sleep without!

You'll want to plan many stops along the way -- playgrounds, rest stops, town squares, college campuses, all make great places to run off some energy. Take some balls or Frisbees along to throw around when you're at a rest stop.

In the car, you'll need a lot of amusements:

• Colorforms stick on car windows
• Etch-a-Sketch or Magna Doodle games
• Sticker books (or even Post-It Notes!)
• Coloring books or a plain pad of paper
• Pipecleaners (fun, quiet, and not messy)
• Finger puppets
• A ViewMaster with new slides for each trips
• Books, comic, activity books
• A small flashlight
• Listen to music, or have a sing-a-long

Try wrapping a few small toys and give them out one at a time over the course of the trip. Don't forget to save a few for the trip home.

Happy traveling, and please share more of your family's "must-packs"!

Esther Schak,
Parent Educator, Saint Paul ECFE

Create your baby’s first book using photographs of recognizable people and objects in your baby’s life. Photos could include siblings, caregivers, a favorite stuffed toy, etc.

1. Place photographs between sheets of clear contact paper.
2. Round the corners to make them smooth and safe.
3. Punch a hole in the corner and bind pages together with yarn.

This simple book is not only drool-proof, it also invites talk surrounding the pictures and familiarizes your baby with the joys and comforts of sharing books.

We'd like to welcome a new voice to the Smart Play blog: Esther Schak, an ECFE parent educator, who will be imparting some of the wisdom she has gained in her many years teaching classes for Saint Paul Public School's Early Childhood Family Education program.

Esther's posts will bring content from her classes straight to you to help you think about your interactions with your children in a new light.

Parenting for Friendship

All parents want their children to have friends. Here are some ways to help children develop friendships.

• Help build a positive self-image. Being able to reach out to others begins with a healthy self-concept. A good self-concept gives the child the confidence to try new things and meet new people.

• Provide a friendly model. “It’s Anne’s birthday; I think I’ll bake her favorite cake. “I do feel hurt that Marta and David didn’t invite us to the party.” “We’ll have to miss your game this one time. Our old neighbors are in town and we’re meeting them for dinner.”

• Provide opportunities for your child to be with other children.

• Allow your child to choose her own friends. Respect her choices even though you may not always understand them. The most important factor is that the relationships are nurturing to your child.

• Respect your child’s friendship style. Each child forms (or tries to form) friendships according to his own particular needs. Many children seem to need just one or two intimate friends, while others enjoy a large circle of friends.

• Help your child gain social skills. She needs to learn:

• How to start playing with someone, how to become part of a group, how to handle rejections.
• How to cooperate in pretend play, games, and choices; how to compromise.
• How to cooperate in pretend play, games, and choices; how to compromise.
• How to handle conflict – express feelings clearly, listen to others, and stand up for herself.

Esther Shack
Parent Educator, Saint Paul ECFE

This week marked the 40th Anniversary of Sesame Street, a show that revolutionized educational television. In 1969, the original intent of the show was to teach children basic math, the alphabet, and general concepts through frequent repetition, visual presentation, and dynamic characters.

Over the years, cable television has grown immensely and added numerous educational shows, but the concept of providing interactive ways for children to learn is still a tried-and-true model of teaching. From hands-on activities at Minnesota Children’s Museum, to bedtime jingles passed on from generation-to-generation, children should always be provided with fun and exciting ways to learn.

When helping your children with their homework tonight or teaching your toddler the ABC’s, try creating your own dance, puppet show or song.

Happy Birthday Big Bird and Friends, thanks for making learning fun for the last 40 years.

To us, it may simply look like building and knocking down blocks, but to a child 'construction play' is a skill-building lesson about gravity that requires questioning, experimentation, and problem solving. As we parents, grandparents, and caregivers create activities at home, or watch our children play in a museum, there are some concepts that help us understand and encourage this learning process. Ask our children to...Look, Look Again. Ask Questions. Predict. Investigate. Experiment. Try and Try Again.

The long weekend ahead brings daydreams of sitting on the dock with a good book in hand and your feet in the water. Stop by your local library first to pick up a few books to enjoy together. And don't forget your sunscreen!

This week’s booklist is about the joys of playing together as a family.

Mama Zooms by Jane Cowen-Flectcher
Rain Song by Lezlie Evans
Wemberly Worried by Kevin Henkes
We’ll Paint the Octopus Red by Stephanie Stuve-Bodeen

Do you remember how you played as a child? Did you climb trees, read, build forts or play pretend? Did you like to play by yourself or did you seek out others? Maybe you had a playful adult who added to the fun.

Think of a favorite way you used to play. You were probably figuring something out, practicing new skills, cooperating, creating and feeling good about yourself. This is what learning is about for children.

You can learn a lot about children by watching them play. Are they physical learners? Some are talkers, full of questions and stories. Some children need to see how things work. At Minnesota Children's Museum, we pack play with possibilities. You can help your child discover these possibilities by following their lead. By taking cues from your children, you learn how they play while they play to learn.

What kind of learners are your children?

May is National Family Month and what better way to celebrate being related than a family-themed story time? Check out these children's books that the whole family will enjoy. Also, check out the National Family Month website for ideas on how to share your love and appreciation for your children.

Mama Zooms by Jane Cowen- Flectcher
Rain Song by Lezlie Evans
Wemberly Worried by Kevin Henkes
We’ll Paint the Octopus Red by Stephanie Stuve-Bodeen