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So. . . how did those prevention tools work for you in Part 1? Here are some more tools to help you manage conflict and teach your children responsibility, in other words, guidance tools.

Encourage thinking:
  • Explain limits
  • Make a polite request
  • Provide a reminder of the rule
  • Ask your child to restate the rule
  • Ask your child for solutions or consequences
  • Use humor!
Show concern:
  • Affirm your child’s feelings and thoughts
  • Ask your child to help you understand
  • Redirect your child’s thinking
  • Provide a “hearing”
  • Help with frustrating tasks
  • Be willing to compromise
Confront the Situation:
  • Offer substitutes
  • Remove children from situations they can’t handle
  • Say, “No!”
  • Have child repeat the action
  • Give permission 
Try to stay calm and take a break if you find yourself getting too upset. Sometimes a “time out” for mom or dad works better than anything! Once you’re in a better frame of mind, you’ll be able to approach the situation more successfully.

Esther Schak
Parent Educator, Saint Paul ECFE


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